Words that should skewer us all in these polarized times…they certainly made me squirm. This quote reminds me of the adage “assume the best of the other.” I believe this passionately, yet so often, I do the opposite.
Wrestling With God (or: What I do and say, and think, I Become)
Confession: I am an over-analyzer.
You have been warned.
I find it interesting to ponder the various influences that converge to shape us into the people we are. For me, one of those influences is the Theology of the Body.
I have to confess that I haven’t yet read the body of work–only a book-length summary, which was enough to spark the realization that TOB isn’t just about sexuality. You know that famous quote that says thoughts become words become actions become habits become destiny? TOB is structured around the reality that we have both souls and bodies, and what we do to one impacts the other, whether we intend it to or not.
So faith that is lived in real, tangible ways through our works and our words–in other words, in the body–will grow. Will bring us into closer alignment with God. Will make us clearer images of God in the world.
Likewise, works and words (and attitudes) that stand at odds with the Gospel weaken our faith and dim our ability to reflect God’s image in the world.
In other words: everything we think, say or do either builds up our faith and brings us closer into alignment with God, or it turns us away from Him. There are no neutral actions, and there is no area of our life which is exempt. Whether we are consciously examining our thoughts, words, and actions for how well they reflect the Gospel doesn’t matter. They’re going to have the impact whether we are aware of them or not. Where the body goes, the soul follows–unless the soul consciously, intentionally takes the lead.
This is why I started Intentional Catholic–because it’s so easy to drift through days, following trends and emotions (and political ideologies, and personal preferences, etc., etc.) without examining them in depth for their conformity to the Gospel. If we aren’t intentional about our faith, we unconsciously give power to worldly influences, and we end up farther from God without even realizing it. A perfect example is that U.S. bishops’ quote about unintended bias.
I don’t claim to have everything figured out. In fact, as I said in my very first post, delving into this process made a mess of my neat and tidy world view. I now know that I will spend the rest of my life wrestling, as Jacob wrestled with the angel (read that: God).
But that’s okay. You know how you build muscle? Micro tears. When the body repairs those tears, it does so with extra fortification. Faith muscles are the same way.
I wrote this post because going forward, lots of quotes will be tagged #theologyofthebody, even though they have nothing to do with sexuality. I hope you’ll walk with me through this process of self-examination and conversion. I believe that the more of us who do so, the stronger the Church (and the world) will be.
We Were Not Meant To Live Like This
It’s a been quite a weekend week two weeks month life lately. I’m working on a novel revision which I intended to have finished the middle of last week, but between spring break, meetings, presentations, kids’ events, and so on, I missed my self-imposed deadline.
I don’t like missing deadlines.
At the same time, I was wrestling with what to do about a very specific item that was causing me great anguish. The kind that keeps you from taking deep breaths. The kind that keeps you awake for three hours in the middle of the night.
I knew God had a solution, but I couldn’t find it. I kept asking. But I didn’t have time to be quiet and still to let him talk, and when I did have thirty seconds, I couldn’t find the quiet center that would allow me to hear anything. Whatever course of action I took, I could see potential disasters.
The good news is that when you seek sincerely, God will get through eventually, one way or another. And by the time I took off on an all-day-and-evening field trip with my daughter on Friday, I had found an course of action that eased my mental, spiritual, and emotional health. Somewhat.
That day, as we walked around Kansas City, the sculpture pictured above stuck out at me. Often, I’ll look at art and be struck by it, but not really know why it resonates. This one made its meaning instantly clear. Look at those people–grim-faced, heads down, leaning into a maelstrom of overwhelming stress. Weighed down. Completely checked out of their own lives. They are prisoners of modern life.
It resonated because it was precisely how I’d been feeling: trapped, powerless, entirely in survival mode–and resentful about it. The weather was beautiful, the earth coming back to life, and I was struggling just to breathe. I couldn’t look up to see–really see–the birds twittering and the baby leaves on the weeping willow. I couldn’t hear the hum of the earth going through its yearly resurrection.
I think we all know that when we’re weighed down and all of life feels burdensome, we miss the goodness of God all around us. But that sculpture reminded me that what I lack most in those times is guidance. I am always, always willing to do whatever God asks of me, however difficult–I just need to know what God’s will is! But when my eyes are staring at internal blackness, my brain wrapped in thick chains of stress and busy work instead of resting in God…
Well, at those times I’m short-tempered, easily offended, easily goaded into fighting, more judgmental, and generally a dim reflection of God’s presence in the world. Worse: at those time, I can’t hear God telling me His will for this moment and this situation and this question.
We were not meant to live like this, in a constant race around a pointless hamster wheel. We were made for better things. Made to live in a peace and calm that allows us to recognize the whisper of God’s voice in our minds, telling us the answer to our quandaries, and God’s hand on our back, nudging us toward His will in all the complexities of modern life.
We were not meant to live like this. The question is, are we looking for a way out?
Intentional Catholic 